SWING SWING

11/05/2007

Gosh, I've been so super busy lately. I'm simply exhausted. Do this do that, plus my house is SUPER messy again and I'm absolutely annoyed by it.
I was sick last night, yet i cleaned the house to make it neat and tidy, and when those people came back, they messed it up again. It's very much appreciated.

Oh anws, updates on my weekend.
Friday - Sentosa with Melvin. (i really dont like being at the beach when I'm not swimming) yeah was quite alright other than the sand. dinner-ed at tiong and cabbed to Tampines. I was listening to Savage Garden in the cab and I realised how nice his voice is (damn, im slow)

Saturday - House party. shall update in my Lj. (since its not for everyone to see) and I honestly dont remember much, and neither do I want to.

Sunday - which was yesterday. Still wasn't feeling so well. Melvin and Rashvin came over. Watched plenty of TV. and they left at night. Mommy/Papa came back at 11plus. It's annoying how she started nagging as soon as she got back. & as usual my mood was horrible. I shall let your imagination figure out what happened. Knocked out by 12.

Today - Skipped Chem though I regret now. Emaths got cancelled. Amaths was slackkkkkkk cos PennyAng was running around trying to work the wireless which totally un-neccessary. oh yeah, the kid is here. and she's an absolute darling (except for her itchy hands which have to touch everything) they are gonna call her Amaiya (or whatever the spelling is). so it Amaiya Sahota.

I'm so sleepy now. Feel like such a pig. L-A-Z-Y. but I really got no mood to do anything right now. or whenever. have this horrible headache which is driving me up the wall. and there's school tmr. damnit.

swing swing ;
11:15 PM;

11/01/2007

I'm supposed to be sleeping right now, but im just not sleepy yet.
it still hasnt sank it yet that mommy's leaving tmr.
and there's school!
damnit
im honestly really pissed now.
ive screamed at mommy, ive screamed at kirandeep and ive screamed at myself.
(all in this horrible voice cos my throat hurts real bad)
dianatang tmr, im not so horrified
leejianwei tmr, im dreading it
limsuatfong(i think) tmr, its gonna be okay i guess
pennyang tmr, im gonna get a headache.

on a lighter note
i created an lj
i got bored of blogger.
but im so lazy to switch.

100crunches a day isnt helping.
im still as fat as ever.
damnit
maybe i should cut down on eating
(i might even save some money)
which reminds me how bloody broke i am
its scary

i think i should go sleep since ive got to wake up earlyyyyyy. i so dont wanna go to school (mainly cos ive got to wake up) but at least its a distraction.
and i get to spend time with the lovelies!

swing swing ;
11:44 PM;

10/31/2007

I stayed home today.
was supposed to go to Melvin's school but mommy didnt allow me to go out.
so he came over instead.
lunch-ed at Bukit Merah KFC
and then he came over.
(i think hes very amused with the messy house)
and i cant believe he doesnt eat cookies! (the one mommy makes)
after like an hour plusplus kiran came back home.
and they both ganged up on me!
no fairrrrrrr.
stupid dumbdumbs were tickling me and i was suffering so much and they can still laugh, walao!
oh and melvin piggybacked me and made me open the door for kiran while i was on his shoulder. damn pain lahhhhh
showed him our baby photos! hahahaha, im the cutest baby alive k!
both sisters walked him to the station and here i am.

Monday and Tuesday was school.
BORINGGGGGGG
like really lah. i was dying during english.
it was like torture. even worse than tuition.

SUNDAY!
rushed home from elle's place. ok didnt rush but still
got back and quickly got ready to meet melvin at outram
headed to vivo and had lunch (i was starvingggggg cos the dumbdumb couldnt get ready on time)
after that walked around and went into TOYS 'R US (or however you spell it)
HAPPY HALLOWEEEEEN!

Sorry couldnt resist wearing the hat.
played around abit with the toys.
elle called and told us they were going el shiekh (i always dont know how to spell it)
we were late though (SORRY!)
and went to meet Jit at his workplace.
and what happened there, you wouldnt wanna know.
got back abit late though. sorry mommy.
Tararumpum at night

Saturday saturday saturday! was Malvein's birthday chalet thingyyy at East Coast.
reached there around 6?
Melvin was there DJ-ing. he wanted to "surprise" me.
unfortunately, he and kiran are bad surprisers. i figured he was going to be there days before. MWAHAHAHA
saw esha after soooooo long!
took many many pictures, but they are with esha! have to wait for her to send it.
didnt stay the night though, went back to elle's place.
This was at the Starbucks at Holland V. Melvin just loved my face too much he had to take a picture.

(as usual, looking at my phone)

swing swing ;
6:36 PM;

10/26/2007

swensens yesterday! with ruby and harmin!
i was exhausted
but it was fun nonetheless

im quite lazy to elaborate. hehe

queensway today, with melvin and kirandeep
saw sarah and tasneem!
got me thinking how much i missed sarah :/
bought kirandeep's lenses and headed to hollandv for icecream
butterscotch with crunchie mix
YUMMAYYYYYY
met debbie, vivien, samantha and michelle there (i tell you its fate)

starbucks (didnt buy anything though, haha)
masada came so i left with melvin to go home.

and now im bored.
jhalak dikhlaja on tv now, but im quite bored of it ready.
too much drama.

the weather is killing me.
its so hot
:/

I think twice nowadays before saying
I love you
and I miss you.

OHOHOH
the other day, i was being rather dumb and so my packet drink straw managed to cut my lip
and now theres an ulcer there
so damn painnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn! help me lah!

jhalak diklaja song on tv! hehehehe i love the song! (ok random)

ohhh yah that day at thai express (which reminds me i need to stop going out and spending so much money. swensens then gelare then thai express then swensens then icecream, all in one week, thats abit too much!)
yah ok at thai express, this preena was saying the dumbest things
there was this thing on the receipt thing that said "SCB"
preena claims that SCB stands for Super Chee-Bye
HAHA its damn funny can
then she said it damn loud and i think everyone could hear.
and she kept going on and on about what can be found in there.
go figure

swing swing ;
11:59 PM;

10/23/2007

It's 10.31PM
surviving on 5hours of sleep here. and im not even sleepy.
not very surprised.
it's official, im going crazy.

i hate how im always getting screamed at for something i was forced to do.

Im sick.
Im sick of losing everyone i love
Im sick of being the one at fault every time
Im sick of making stupid mistakes
Im sick of reminding myself ive got to hold on
Im sick of being nice
Im sick of smiling at you every single time even though you dont smile back
Im sick of telling myself im okay
Im sick of disappointing everyone
Im sick of not being the perfect sister
Im sick of not being the perfect daughter
Im sick of not being the perfect friend
Im sick of how much I love you
Im sick of not being able to show you how much your actions hurt me
Im sick of drifting away
Im sick of how much I mean to you
Im sick of how many friends ive got left
Im sick of what ive become
Im sick of not getting what I want
Im sick of not being the person you want me to be
Im sick of weak I am
Im sick of my lies
Im sick of trying to forget you
Im sick of remembering how things were like
Im sick of regret
Im sick of not being good enough
Im sick of hurting everyone around
Im sick of my big mouth
Im sick of my stupidity
Im sick of my rudeness
Im sick of how much you mean to me
Im sick of trying to be strong all the time
Im sick of pretending
I'm just sick of it all ok.

swing swing ;
10:30 PM;

10/21/2007

Punjabi; 70%
L1R5 now 22

not bad teran, not bad. I'm impressed.

Honestly, I don't know what's up with me lately.
I can't remember stuff (like i really can't)
My moods are beyond predictable
I can't seem to concentrate on anything
I'm suddenly all quiet
I'm tired most of the time
I lose my cool over the simplest things
and I'm losing them one by one.

Sincerely sorry to those whom I've offended due to my weird moods yeah?

The surprises I've been getting are just overwhelming.
I feel like I'm on drugs, like really.
Considering how I can't seem to remember much.
Teranjit, teranjit, What is happening to you?

swing swing ;
12:54 AM;

10/18/2007

Results are back.
I can't say I'm glad. neither can I say I'm covered with tears.
It was a surprise, I admit.
I was disappointed, real bad.
Studied, studied, studied.
Didn't pay off did it.

English; 60.1%
Chemistry; 53%
Emaths; 53%
Amaths; 58%
Biology; 61%
Combined Humans; 59%
Geography; 71%
L1R5 26points.

*punjabi not counted/havent gotten back results yet.

I deproved from CTs
But then again, it was CTs.
congrats teran, you made it to Sec4

I doubt I will be going school tomorrow.
meeting babe instead.
I really hope it goes okay.
I've got this weird feeling about it.
(i always do though)

Lessons are gonna start soon
I'm in no mood for studying
and I received the wonderful news that ive got lessons the first week of the holidays.
What a nice thing to hear, don't you think?

My mood has been off since like a few days back.
I'm supposed to be smiling.
:D :D :D
yeah kinda like that.
"Fake" smiles (is there even such a thing?) dont cut it anymore
I'm done being oh so nice about it.

and hey, I'm not the only one who thinks so yeah.
Even though I hate her guts for what she's doing, i have to agree.
It's either I haven't kept up, Or you're not the same.
Either way it sucks.

swing swing ;
11:52 PM;

10/14/2007

dangg, its been long since i last posted.
sorry yeah, ive been busy.

*these past few days, nothing seems to be staying in my head. so i cant really remember much

was working on monday and tuesday.
giving out flyers. or rather magazines.
was quite ok.
50bucks a day
and i havent gotten my cheque yet.
maybe they are cheating me of my money !!!

swensens on wednesday.
town-ed abit.
miss that place manzxzxzxzx.

school started after.
thursday sucked, totally. i was so pissed
it was a TOTAL waste of time.
friday was better than expected.
inter-house games was quite fun
other than the fact that i got tan-er
went thru bio paper (though i still dont know my marks!)

after school on friday, went for the shooting thingyy
was uhm, an experience yeah.
marina square for dinner afters.
stayed over elle's place

went for some hari raya dinner ytd.
b-o-r-i-n-g.
waste of time.
literally.

pasir ris today.
sajjyn is the cutest! (other than me of course)
the stupid cats got me sick.
ive been sneezing since just now.
dangggg

on the way home today, i was listening to this certain song.
it reminded me of last year.
the same loneliness
the same hurt
the same betrayal
the same helplessness
the same longing
the same emptyness
the same tears
all that the moment i heard the song.
i realised, i cant erase last year.
no matter how hard i try
its always gonna be there
and so are you

i dont get why you still contact me
you claim im a bitch
leave me alone.
i beg you

swing swing ;
9:40 PM;

10/07/2007

MIA-ed for so longggg!
it was the exams i tell you
studied like crazy for like million million days.

my mood has been UP down UP down these past few days.
esp today and yesterday

well exams was alright
Social Studies, sbq totally sucked. i blanked out, seq was alright, wrote quite alot, just dont know if it made sense.
Emaths, i screwed it up. didnt do like half the paper.
History, i dont expect to do well, seeing how i didnt study. seq i managed to finish one at least. sbq was screwed.
Bio, was better than expected. and i hope to pass it. im counting on bio!
Geog, i was so disappointed in myself. its my best subject and i totally blanked. doubt i will even get a E8. i really messed up
Amaths, was MUCH better than expected. i at least managed to finish a few questions.
Chemisty, was as expected. didnt study, so dont expect a pass.
lets hope for the best yeah?

after chem paper was Sec4 Farewell Assembly.
it was so sad. and i kept thinking of _______
stupid teran.

went straight home after farewell assembly and cleared my room abit.
i was so tired and cranky, i decided to sleep for like half an hour.
but only managed to sleep for 15minutes cos had to go meet that dumb dumb.
he was late lah! (ok not surpised, but !!!)
yada yada yada.
vivo was fun lah huh.
and totally worth remembering.

saturday!
cafe del mar = beach bar and bikini babes!
there was this super hot guy in the poooool
danggggg
but the weather was killing me. seriously.
my mood went totally off cos i was dead tired.
mount faber was funny though
saw a couple in a car, doing uhmmmmm.....
lets see, making out, fingering and even a blowjob.
hmmm, mount faber eh.

today was coffeeclub at marina.
according to elle it was sinful, seeing how much chocolate we were having.
hehhhh

no school tmr.
im bored.

swing swing ;
11:39 PM;

9/30/2007

i dont know how to tell you, really.

been reflecting alot today.
i thought about
how when i was in the hospital and i was crying
cos it hurt so bad
and mommy cried along with me
and i stopped crying cos i didnt want to see her cry.

and i thought about
how mommy bought us the bags yesterday

and i thought about
how kirandeep is always so nice to me
but she can really be a bitch
and im trying my hardest to be nice to her
even though she really pushes it

and i thought about
how good things were last year
we were this oh so happy clique
and now we're so broken.
we hardly talk
maybe those half smiles here and there
i want those times back.

and i thought about
how my actions made it this way
if i didnt do this; it wouldnt have happened
if i did this; it wouldnt have happened
and i wondered, what if?
so i figured, everything happens for a reason.

i should be studying.
really.
but today, i give up
im at a loss as to what to do.
i cant put my finger on to what
neither do i want to
i dont know
i dont know
i dont know
maybe i just dont want to answer the question

maybe all that is needed is a break
a trip to the beach?
a walk on the sand? playing with the water?
running around like an idiot?
sitting down and just listening to sea?
feeling the peace and serenity around?
sitting by the pavement, looking at the cars going by?
standing with arms out, feeling the wind around me?
maybe all i want is

and for once, to be alone.

where's the teran i know?
so much has happened this year.
its scary to think how someone can change so much.

but yet all this petty little things
are nothing
nothing compared to everyone else.

really gotta stop over-reacting.

swing swing ;
7:40 PM;

9/29/2007

you are all that I have;

MIA-ed!
tehehehehehehehehe
i havent been using the computer/tablet long everyday
so proud of myself

study "date" on thursday
with the clowns, rash, melvin, kiran
me and kiran were the ones trying to study
while the other two were there to distract us
was alright though
a break at least.

ive been studying like crazy these past few days
and i really hope it pays off
it will it will

on a lighter note,
mommy bought me a guess bag
as childrens day present
so sweet right
i love you mommy

im sorry babe,
but i cant give it away just like that, again.

swing swing ;
10:42 PM;

9/25/2007

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODY
i use up all my happy energy in school
so by the time i get home, im like a monster
really need to stop

NO MASS RUN TODAY!!!
yay yay yay,
i love to run, but i hate mass run.
haha im weird.

p.e. was fun!
we played hockey!!!
yayyyy
and the sun was super hot and i was running around like an idiot
which was gooooood
EXERCISE!
felt so nice after PE
didnt have recess, really didnt feel like eating.
english was fighting with tyh.
hes so mean lah. ughhh
cme test is so screwed.
if i fail, im such a bad person
HEHHHHH

today tasneem told me a very amusing thing. (act only i find it amusing)
"eh white bra, im proud of you teran"
"oh, hahahahahaha"
"new one right?"
"yah"
"yeewen's influence right?"
"hahahah yeap"
"im proud of you teran"
hahahahah i think its funny
oh and its not very accurate cos i forgot what exactly she said. heh
its funnyyyyyyyyy

oh and my grandma did the funniesh thing today
she told me to stand on her (like massage lah) haha
then i was like, NOOOOOO im very heavy, i use one leg only
then she fight fight with me
then when i use one leg she tell me im very heavy
and then i said im 15 already what
then she say, oh i thought you still small
(this conversation was in punjabi btw)
hehhhhhhh funny

swing swing ;
9:43 PM;